American Girls
by RnBwRvrGrl and Digital Tempest
Summary: [Parody] Man, we have too much time on our hands. Haha, why are all American Girls so rough? Dayum, we can never hurt a guy enough. Set in the D2 realm. Features Gunnar. What fun!


Title: American Girls

Rating: PG-13 just to be safe… heh…

Authors': Tempest and Sparkle

Disclaimer: We own nothing in this fic but ourselves. Don't sue! We're on medication! PROMISE!

Authors' Notes: Another something that came from our weirdo messages. We're actually writing something similar for another genre.  Takes place in D2 realm. Short, crazy, odd. What did you expect?

Parody of the song American Girls by Soul Coughing Weezer. We actually didn't have to do too much changing to the song… Chorus wise…

Italics denote singing.

-X-

*We're in restaurant where we see Gunnar trying to put the moves on an 'American Girl'. She is currently laughing at him.*

American Girl: Bahahaha! You want me to go out a date with _you?_

Gunnar: ^____^ Yep. Something to remember America by.

American Girl: Bahahaha! Where are you from anyway? Mexico?

Gunnar: MEXICO? I'm from Iceland!

American Girl: Oh, well… er…  what's that? 

Gunnar: ~_~

American Girl: Hey, you play hockey, don't you? I saw you on TV.

Gunnar: *says smugly* That would be me. :D

American Girls: *dumps soda on his head* You're a real jerk! Treating our team like that. That's why you're going to get your ASS KICKED by them at the finals. BOOYA! 

*American Girl walks away*

Gunnar: Third time this week. Damn, why are all American Girls so rough? *sniffles*

*Music cues from somewhere and everyone in restaurant goes o_O;;*

Man: Where the hell did that music come from?

*Gunnar jumps on the table and starts singing with his team singing backup*

_Darlin'__  
I'm afraid to turn my back when I'm trying to score  
I'm afraid you'll crack that stick down over my head  
  
_

Woman: What's going on? 

Man: I think he's singing…?

Woman: I know that you fool, but why the hell is he singing?

  
_Why are all American girls so rough?  
Damn those girls can't even hurt you enough_

_Lady  
You knocked me to my knees and I couldn't stand up  
You got the look in your eyes when you block my shot  
  
Waitress: Quick someone call the crazy house. Tell them I think some patients escaped._

Teenage girl: Someone should tell them we don't tolerate this kind of crap in America.

*Gunnar and the crew keep dancing enthusiastically while they get more and more into their song*

_Why are all American girls so rough?  
Why do all American girls act so tough?  
Damn, those girls can't even hurt you enough  
  
__Darlin__'  
I'm afraid to even approach you for a date  
I'm afraid you'll laugh and then you'll spit in my face  
  
_

*Gunnar dances over to a table full of American Girls, and they start snickering at him. He jumps on their table, knocking over their food.*

American Girl #1: Hey! You! THAT'S OUR GODDAMN FOOD YOU'RE DESTROYING. 

American Girl #2: Ugh! You so die, now.

American Girl #3: *cries* I really wanted that vegetarian burrito. 

*The girls stand up and push Gunnar down. He falls on the floor flat on his butt.*

  
_Why are all American girls so rough?  
Damn, those girls can't ever hurt you enough  
  
Lady  
I thought you girls like my smooth accent  
(but) You make fun of me and you call my bluff_

*Gunnar and his comrades continue to disturb the peace while singing about the woes of trying to get with an American Girl.*_  
   
  
Why are all American girls so rough?  
Why do all American girls act so tough?  
Why are all American girls so rough?  
  
My ego is really taking a swan dive  
You said I was real jerk  
Can't you take it easy  
Let's try to be friends  
  
Why are all American girls so rough?  
Damn, those girls can't even hurt you enough_

*Another waitress walks up to Gunnar*

Waitress: Hey cutie. I'll take you home with me and teach you what America's all about. *hits Gunnar on the butt and he yelps in surprise*  
  
_Lady  
You knocked me on my knees and I can't stand up  
You got the look in your eyes as you smack my butt_

_  
Why are all American girls so rough?  
Why do all American girls act so tough?  
Why are all American girls so rough?_

*Men with straight jackets enter and start attacking the boys. They continue to sing as they are hauled off to the place that has the rooms with the padded walls.*  
  
_American girls  
American girls  
Why are all American girls so rough?  
  
American girls  
American girls  
American...  
Why are all American girls so rough?  
  
American girls  
American girls  
American...  
Why are all American girls so rough?  
  
Why are all American girls so rough?_

-Sparkle and Tempest take off their sunglasses and trench coats from a booth in a far corner of the restaurant.-

Sparkle: *tee-hee* That was fun.

Tempest: GIVE ME THAT MAGICAL KEYBOARD YOU DOLT! No wonder people are scared of you. You always lose someone.


End file.
